Continental
by Hero of the Dark
Summary: Columbia is a moron, Ecuador is tsundre, and it's hard to believe Chile and Peru still haven't admitted to having more sexual tension than you can wave a stick at. Really, there were times when Brazil wondered if it would just be easier to jump off a cliff than continue to deal with the rest of South America. "Dammit Paraguay, leave Bolivia alone!" OC-centric
1. We're Only Here for Yaoi and Free Food

**This is an idea I've been working on for a while, and I finally decided to write it out! Quite basically put this will be a one-shot collection revolving around the various personifications of South America. And I had to make personalities, ages, looks, etc., for all twelve of them, which included reading their entire histories on Wikipedia. T.T Also, before you read: these characters are based on their countries STEREOTYPES, same as all Hetalia characters. So please don't be offended if you're from Argentina or Brazil or wherever by of my blatant stereotyping. I promise you it was done on purpose.**

"I'm going to kill myself." Brazil muttered to herself. "I'm serious. I'm going to kill myself."

"There, there." Uruguay cooed softly, gently rubbing her back in a soothing manner. "You're under a lot of stress. It's understandable."

"I know! And I thought organizing this thing was bad! Do you have any idea how hard it was to convince Hungary not to come?"

Uruguay frowned. "Why would she even want to come any ways?"

"That." Brazil said in response, making half gesture towards where Chile and Peru were in yet another argument. This one apparently revolving around Peru's little sister.

Bolivia herself was in the corner, eating a small plate of snack food she'd swiped when the buffet had been deserted for a minute. She didn't seem to care much about the argument going on nearby, and was stuffing the food down as if it was her last meal. At the sight of the Brazil slammed her head back into the table. "I'd ask you to kill me, but I'm afraid you might actually do it."

Uruguay blushed faintly. "Well…uh…yes, I probably would."

Brazil once again slammed her head into the table. "I. Hate. This. So. Much." She punctuated each word with another head slam. Uruguay appeared unaffected by the sight, even when blood started smearing on the table.

But, of course, the somewhat peace could only last so long. "BRAZIL!" She looked up to see Chile standing over the table. He looked furious. "You agree with me, right?"

She was half tempted to snap at him, but instead she took a deep breath. Doing her best to keep her voice steady she asked "what are you arguing this time?"

"His hoarding problem!"

"Have you ever proven he has a hoarding problem?"

"No, but I might as well have! You've seen how many sunglasses he buys! And does he ever wear them? No! I'm convinced there's just piles of sunglasses all over his house! I mean really, it makes no sense!"

"Maybe you should go to his house and check. I'm sure Hungary would love that." She decided not to mention she wouldn't mind that filming either. Ah, yaoi. She shook her head to clear it of all thoughts of a blushing red Chile clinging on to Peru and- NO, BAD! BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD! Wait until you can write it down! And the others can't see the color of your face!

Chile was giving her an odd look. "I'm going to leave you to whatever sick, impossible fantasies are running through your head." He said, and walked away.

Uruguay watched him go. "Would you feel better if I locked them in a closet together with a video camera taped to a wall and the threat of a bloody demise if they don't do…that?"

Brazil shook her head, wiping away the last of the blood on her forehead. Most of it had dried up already. "No, but thanks for the offer."

Uruguay nodded and faint smile brushed his lips. "Well if you're done having an emotional breakdown I believe it's time for football."

Brazil perked up instantly. She got to her feet and left the room, returning a minute later wearing a pair of booty shorts instead of her previous green and yellow skirt. Her hair had been tied in a ponytail and she clutched a black and white ball under one arm. She stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled, the loud sound instantly turning all heads towards her. There were several cheers and excited murmurs as the others recognized her appearance. "It's time!" With that she ran for the back of the building, the others chasing behind her. The annual South American Football Game was one of the major events known to all the personifications, usually because it almost always resulted in a group of teenagers and twenty year olds standing on a demolished field, shrieking at each other in Spanish.

Belize stood in front of them on the large expanse of grass. "Okay, this year for team leaders we have…" she looked at the group and enjoyed their suspense for a minute before saying "Argentina" Argentina whooped and jogged over to her, looking quite pleased. "And Paraguay." Paraguay grinned and walked over to her.

Brazil nodded, apparently satisfied with her choice, and walked back to the main group. "Okay, you know the drill. Pick your team member one at a time in a civilized fashion. Save your viciousness for the field."

"All right, I'm picking first." Argentina said before Paraguay could get a word in. "Eenie, meenie, nice ass." And he pointed at Brazil. She winked and waved said ass back a forth all the way over to him.

Paraguay smiled and thought for a minute. "Peru" he said, and the brightly dressed man walked over to him.

Argentina gave Brazil a conspiratorial glance. She nodded and he said "Chile."

Chile rolled his eyes but walked over to join them.

And so it continued until Guyana walked over to join Paraguay's team. Then Belize turned and looked at the field. "We've got the left side, you take the right." The two groups split, and a truly vicious game began.

-Continental-

"You fucking lost, just admit it already!" Argentina shrieked in Spanish, apparently attempting to squash Paraguay like a bug as the two squirmed in on the many huge gouges that decorated the ground.

And to be quite frank, the rest of the nations weren't being very sportsmanlike either. Brazil currently had Venezuela by his collar, shaking him back and forth as the two screaming insults at each other in rapid fast Spanish.

Yep. Looks like that tradition of ending up on the from page of the newspaper because of these stupid gatherings wouldn't be ending this year.

**And I guess that's a wrap! It's shorter than I expected, but I like it. What do you guys think so far?**

**-Hero of the Dark**


	2. Seismophobia

**WARNING: This chapter is filled with ridiculous amounts of cavity-inducing fluff that may be very crappily written. And the main pairing is boyxboy. You have been warned.**

Chile stared in horror at the screen in front of him. This wasn't happening. Not at a World Meeting. Not today, of all fucking days! But sure enough, the words kept flashing at the bottom of the screen, taunting the Spanish man in bright red. "There will be minor earthquakes throughout the London area. Do not panic. They are minor and will cause no damage."

Don't panic. They're minor. No need to panic. No need to panic his ass! It took a minute, but eventually he snapped out of his state of panic (forget the goddamn notice!) long enough to dart down the hallway and grab Brazil by her wrist on her way back to the meeting. The girl turned around, looking surprised. "Chile? What are you doing here? I thought you were already in the meeting room."

It took a few seconds for him to calm his breathing down before looking her in the eye. She froze, knowing instantly that this was serious. "There's going to be minor earthquakes all afternoon." He said in rush, feeling the blood run from his face as the true horror of this began to sink in.

Brazil's eyes widened in understanding and worry. "Go back to the hotel, I'll come up with something." He nodded in thanks and ran back the way he came.

Brazil sighed as she watched the man run off. He was normally so composed, it was disheartening to see him in such a state. Brazil shook her head: she could bother with that later. Right now she had to come up with an excuse. "He got sick? No, the others would've known if he'd been showing symptoms…attacked by llamas- that's moronic." She frowned to herself as she walked towards the meeting room and four more hours of hell. "Hit in the face with a football, how the hell would I explain that? No wait, I've got it!" Brazil smiled to herself and continued on her way.

Peru grinned as Brazil walked by, too buried in her thoughts to notice him. Earthquakes, huh? Great, it'd been far too long since he'd had an opportunity like this. He pulled out his camera and headed back towards the elevators.

-Continental-

Chile had been in the hallway on his way to his hotel room when the earth began to softly rumble. He froze, wishing intently that he wasn't on the first floor of the building. He probably wouldn't be able to feel this on the higher floors. Chile shook his head, and shakily pulled out his card. He swiped it and dove into his room as soon as the light flashed green. He kicked the door shut with his foot and dove onto his bed, pulling the blankets up over him and curling himself into a makeshift cocoon.

The earth underneath him rumbled ever so softly as Chile curled himself up even tighter, unable to stop a muffled sob at the base for the orchestra of destruction he'd heard just a few years ago. The sound of crashing buildings, screaming, sobbing, blood, pain, death. His people were scared, his people were hurt. And so he was scared and hurt as well, forced to lay in a hospital bed for days unable to do anything but scream and sob. It had been horrifying, and he could never again stand the ripping feeling of the earth, no matter how "minor" the killer was.

There was quiet for a time as he lay there, curled under the covers. His body heat had long since made it near unbearable, but he wasn't leaving until the earthquake stopped.

Eventually it did, leaving him shuddering for a few more seconds before Chile realized what had happened. He was on his feet in an instant and darted for the bathroom, where he proceeded to puke his guts into the toilet. He groaned, seeing fish and chips come back up wasn't an appealing sight in the slightest. Another wave of nausea took the man and he continued to retch until all that came up a slimy yellow substance that he suspected might be pure stomach acid.

He groaned and collapsed on the toilet, too tired to move. His arms kept his head from falling into the water, but aside from that there was little he could force himself to do right now.

"You look like shit." All Chile could manage was a groan at the sound of that familiar voice. Peru. Of course.

"How did you get in here?" He managed to croak out. "I didn't give you a key."

"You didn't close the door all the way." Peru said in response, frowning at the sight of his long time rival laying defeating in a hotel bathroom. "Seriously, though. Brazil said it was bad but I had no idea."

"Take your pictures and go away." Peru stared at him. Did Chile really know him that well? After a minute of silence he sighed and shook his head.

"I can't just leave you like this, that's completely against the rivalry code of conduct." Chile froze.

"Huh?"

"Hold still."

"HUH?" With a yelp he didn't know he had the strength for, Chile found himself lifted into Peru's tanned arms. Peru held him aloft, smiling slightly as Chile realized he wasn't in any position to fight back and fell limp in Peru's arms. "If you try to carry me outside like this I swear there's going to be war."

"You're so suspicious, even when you're half dead." Peru said in response, carrying the other man out of the bathroom and back over to the bed. "You dug yourself into a cocoon under the covers, didn't you?"

"Shut up."

Peru shrugged and set the man on the bed, stroking his hair back with one hand. "Better?"

Chile sighed. "Yeah. Thanks."

Peru nodded. "Well I couldn't leave a man down like that. It's just rude." Chile rolled his eyes, then his eyes shot open and he stiffened. Peru frowned as he also felt the faint rumble of the ground underneath them.

Chile whimpered softly and began curling in on himself, grabbing at the comforters to pull himself into another cocoon. "Oh no you don't." Peru muttered, sitting down on the bed and grabbing hold of Chile before he could resume his earlier position. "You need to calm down." Ignoring Chile terrified squirming he pulled the smaller man into his lap and grabbed the TV remote from where it lay on the floor. "How about some Spongebob?" He looked down at Chile, who was continuing to squirm. But there was no chance of him overpowering Peru in his already weakened, hysterical state. Peru wrapped one arm around Chile's head and forcefully turned the man's head to the screen as Peru turned on the show. "Watch."

Chile, by this point, seemed to have realized he wasn't going anywhere, but his mind was still clearly swamped with panic as he did something he'd never do under normal circumstances: he continued to try and hide. Only this time, he tried to do it by squirming even closer to Peru, whimpering slightly. The other Latin American blushed, forcing his eyes as well as Chile's onto the sight of a pink starfish shouting that his name was Patrick to confused customers over the phone. Normally this episode was one of Peru's favorites, but the man in his lap was being very distracting.

He sighed. "Would you rather watch something else?" He asked Chile, craning his neck to face him, and instantly freezing in shock at what he saw. Chile eyes were wide and brimming with tears, his cheeks red from the fight he'd been putting up. Peru just looked at Chile for a minute before sighing and gently petting the other man's soft hair. "Shh, calm down. It'll be over soon, I promise." He whispered in the soothing voice he usually reserved for his hermana. It had comforted her through all the poverty and horrible leaders, and sure enough it was slowly calming down a hysteric Chile as well.

There was quiet for a minute as Peru whispered gentle, comforting words and Chile slowly calmed down. Peru's smiled slightly at the sight of Chile's face, the fear slowly loosening its hold. "Are you okay now?" He asked as the earthquake finally died. Chile nodded, apparently recovering his sense as his face slowly turned red. Peru couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. "Stay here, I'm going to go get some sleep medicine. Hopefully you'll be able to sleep through the rest of them." He hesitated for a moment, then pulled something out of his pocket. "But until then, use this." Chile's eyes widened at the sight of the metallic orange object.

"Peru…" Chile muttered, staring at in shock.

"Take it." Peru said, holding out his beloved iPod. "Don't worry, I have a clear pair of ear buds." He pulled them out as well and stuck them into the iPod before placing the buds in Chile's ears. He set it on shuffle and 80s music began blasting through the shocked man's skull as Peru stood up. "Well, I'm gonna go find that medicine. Be back in a flash!" And he walked out the door.

-Continental-

Later that afternoon Brazil walked out of the meeting, feeling quite pleased with herself. Her speech had gone well and she had a date with Liberia later, which pretty much translated into hot sex with no strings attached in both their books. She was walking down the hallway, thinking about whether to wear the tiger striped panties or the frilly bra (they did not go together at all) when she suddenly found herself pinned to a wall by a rabid Hungary.

She shrieked before Hungary covered her mouth, a delighted glint in her eye. "I don't know if Chile fed you that story about food poisoning or you were just covering for him, but guess who also wasn't at the meeting?" Brazil didn't need her to say it, they both knew exactly who Hungary was talking about. Brazil smiled at her fellow yaoi enthusiast as Hungary removed her hand from her mouth and gave the latino a pleading look.

"I'll set the cameras up."

**Leberia is an African nation that I picked at random and hermana means sister in Spanish (Peru**'**s little sister is Bolivia), just FYI. Anyways, yeah. That's chapter two. The name of the chapter is the fear of earthquakes, which, in case you haven't noticed, Chile** **has a rather severe case of. The fluff in this chapter…it's…I think a part of me just died. I have absolutely no sweetness left in me to write this author's note. o.e Until next time.**

**-Hero of the Dark**


End file.
